Pup-pup

Last night during a wonderful girls' night with a new friend of mine the topic of God's "Daddyness" remained central to our conversation. We talked about (well she reminded me) of how, as women, we are princesses of a divine father. This is not just fru-fru Christian talk here. We are chosen daughters of the Master Creator of the earth and all that is in it. We've got just as much right to say we are princesses that Princess Grace, Princess Diana, or Pop Princess Miley Cyrus do (though they're not excluded from receiving God's inheritance). This is not symbolic, or theorhetic, or hypothetic. It's true.

This princess talk led to many topics: parents, boys, grace, and God's job as Heavenly Father. Somehow the conversation led to running ahead of God, and having him lovingly tug us back, sort of like a parent with a (gasp) baby leash!

I am not a mommy, but I am an auntie. And I'll tell you that, my 6 nieces have made my heart explode with love in a way that I never thought possible. I love these little girls with such fierceness, I without a doubt would do anything for them.

I have on particular niece who is 20 months old, going on 14. She is beautiful and funny and daring; and headstrong, stubborn and once she accrues more words to her vocabulary will be very outspoken. She calls me "Teetee" and would rather say no than hear it. My sister lives near a business highway and once my little niece puts her shoes on and is out the door, she bee lines for the excitement of the cars and trucks passing by. After we got tired of chasing her and carrying her kicking and screaming away from the danger, my sister invested in a backpack-baby-leash, otherwise known as "Pup-pup".

Now, everytime we play outside my teeny little princess wears pup-pup. We give her freedom to roam, but when she gets too clos to that business highway, we give pup-pup a tug and pull her back. Now, you know where I'm getting with this...

We would never keep her from excitement and fun to be mean. We keep her away from those rushing cars for the obvious reason: we love her a lot and we would like to keep her around, forever. When she is ready, (at age 16 with a driver's license) she will hit the road. Until then, though she fights us, we protect her from the harmful traffic. She doesn't understand now, but I think she will thank us (and pup-pup) later.

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." -John 13:7

I think God may have many of us on these baby leashes. We get excited, we run for the freeway and all that it holds, only for him to pull us back. And when we kick and scream because we don't understand and we don't get what we want, God holds us and loves us enough to let us be mad at him. Just like my beloved little niece, he loves us too much to lose us. He knows the danger of the highway, he holds us back until we are ready, and I think we will thank him later.

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. -Romans 8:17

what WOULD Jesus do, exactly?

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jer. 29:13

It is official, I am truly world's worst blogger. I've read somewhere that the key to having a successful blog, is "update, update, update!". Whoops. I promise you this, girls, that my heart is truly and richly devoted to a ministry for women of all ages, and my passion lies in pouring out what God has revealed to me, hoping that it encourgaes the faith-journeys of others.

Sometimes I think God thunders, and we can't help but spill what he has for us. Other times, I think he whispers. Intimate, quiet messages and lessons that are meant for, and personalized, just for me. I think that is the season I have been in this summer, and I hope you can relate. Our relationship with God is meant to be personal, because we are each personally loved, that sometimes our growth and our learnings (that's a word right?) can not be put into words, because they are special conversation with an intimate God.

Here is what I can tell you though; that this summer my eyes have been opened to the personability of God. He has shown me how he a) never leaves or forgets us (Hebrews 13:5) and b) he has every detail of our lives on his radar and c) he loves me. That last one, is a simple proclamation that I have heard since I was a little girl, but accepting and believing it and understanding the BIGNESS of it all is something that is brand new to me.

I have spent the last year of my life searching. I have been digging through theology, trying to figure out what is right to believe and what is not. I have been taking baby steps on all sorts of life paths, thinking maybe that's the direction God wants me to go in. I have been seeking and listening for God's voice (through all different medias) hoping he will show me the way and either fulfill my desires, or take them from me. I have been investigating how Jesus would live his life if he were in my shoes. For example, how would he vote? how would he dress? what would he do for fun? would he drink alcohol? would he approve two-piece swimsuits? would he watch MTV? would he tell me to spend time with those who've hurt me, or to cut them out of my life? Would he go green, or save the whales? Trust me, I've racked my brain with questions such as these, I chalk it up to a coming-of-age thing.

This coming-of-age thing, while fascinating, has been paired with much anxiety. My gosh, is the way I've always thought about life right? Am I doing life right? Or have I got it wrong the whole time, and God is shaking his head? I've had good intentions, but have I had the right actions? At times, this search for truth became so frustrating, I just said "forget it, this is too hard God. You're going to have to inject my mind and my heart with the right stuff, because I'm so afraid of being wrong." And so I sat on my couch, Sunday after Sunday, watching Friends reruns, and not caring if that was okay or not.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. -John 14:6

Well, God had his way of course. He didn't let my heart go. He didn't let my frustrations tear me away from Him. I began church-hunting, and through my skeptical, pouting attendance in plush chairs and pew benches, God spoke to me. He said, "We're in this together, seek me and you will find me. I'm the one stable thing in your life, I am a rock you won't fall from."

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened -Matthew 7:8

Well duh, I am seeking him. I want the truth more than anything. I want to live right, and love right, and accept the grace that he is given when I DON'T get it right (on a daily basis). God is with me in my church-hunt, job-hunt, housing-hunt, and HIM-hunt.

I hope that this all makes sense and that this may encourage those of you that have been searching for God as well, and have had to become anxious, frustrated, and jaded only to give way to the rest that God is with you, the Holy Spirit is guiding you, and you are never alone. God is not threatened by our doubts, our questions, or our raised eyebrows. There aren't enough people in this world looking for him, so I get a feeling when he sees his pretty little daughter searching for him, he rushes to her.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you -James 4:7-8

Trust God to find you. Trust him to reveal his truths to you. Trust him to never let you wander off his path, as long as you keep your eyes on him.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. -Matt. 6:33

Getting Even

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. -Romans 12:19

Two yelling, whining, laughing, and splashing boys were ruining my relaxing afternoon by the pool. I am working on getting the perfect tan, and becuase of their canon balls, I keep having to change position; not cool.

I finally give in, set aside my book (so preserve its pages so I can read it later) and sit calmly watching these two boys. As I put my book down, I turn to see the younger one crying and the older one pleading, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Here, you punch me. A free shot. As hard as you can." The flow of tears comes to a halt and is replaced by the huge smile as he winds up and takes his best shot....

Ah ha! Right there. The perfect picture of how we get this messed up idea that revenge will make us feel better. That getting even makes out hurting stop. Forgive me if I've overused the following quote, but it's one of my favorites so bear with me:

"Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled… old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget.In life, only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes. No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You’re going to hurt people. You’re going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover... there’s really only one thing you can say. "-Meredith Grey, ABC's Grey's Anatomy

I passed a church sign a few weeks back that stated, "The Best Way to get Even is to Forget." I agree, but I had to scoff a little at that. I mean c'mon, who really forgets what made the deepest scars in their life? And if we could choose to forget these pains, wouldn't we all choose that? With all do respect to that church, I would like to make a slight edit to their sign. I think the best way to get even is to forgive.

If we hit back, our bruise doesn't magically clear up. If we just plain enjoy bringing pain upon someone who absolutely deserves it, it may make us human, but I also think it hardens our hearts a little bit. Getting revenge doesn't erase the past, in fact it keeps us on the same path that brought us face to face with whatever offended us.

These aren't profound words, but just as soon as I forgave those boys for showering me with their Shamoo-sized splashes, I've had this analogy in my head and had to spill it out somewhere.

Give up your grudges. Give them to God, let him even the scores. Give up trying to fix and protect yourself, let him heal your heart. Let him help you grow and learn and guide you through your pain. Let him set you free.

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken,Announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners.God sent me to announce the year of his grace— a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies— and to comfort all who mourn,To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,Messages of joy instead of news of doom, a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness" planted by God to display his glory.They'll rebuild the old ruins, raise a new city out of the wreckage.They'll start over on the ruined cities, take the rubble left behind and make it new.You'll hire outsiders to herd your flocks and foreigners to work your fields,But you'll have the title "Priests of God," honored as ministers of our God.You'll feast on the bounty of nations, you'll bask in their glory.Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt,Your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever. -Isaiah 61:1-7 (The Message).

lessons

I just celebrated a birthday--with my arms crossed, a pouty face, and stamping my feet. Well, not literally, but that's what I felt like inside. I don't like the thought of getting older. However, my Grandma forwarded me this email and it was eye-opening and perspective-changing. So I thought I would share it with you. Here it is:

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

wrestling match

As promised...here it is!

When I was a little girl, on many occasions, I would attempt to fight with my older brother. Out of anger or playfulness, I foolishly thought I stood a chance. My brother is a big, brawny, dude and I was a skinny, awkward brat. You see the odds. I could get in, maybe...one good tackle (if I caught him by suprise). However, my brother had this secret move where he would extend his arm out in front of him and place his palm on my forhead. Since my arms weren't long enough, I would continue to move forward, forehead pressed tightly against his outstretched hand, swinging at him, but missing his stomach by a good 5 inches. He would hold me steady, I would swing at thin air. This would go on for a very long time, until I had no choice but to quit. Another important fact to remember is that if my brother had launched a full-fledged assault on me, I would be injured badly.

This is how I feel about wrestling with God, and His will. Which is what I keep doing over and over again. God loves me (as my older brother does), he knows that what I am fighting him for may not be the best for me right now, or ever. God can see future pain and wants to protect me from it. Trying to fight God is like punching air while he holds me steady until I am too exhausted to go on.

It comes down to trust. Trusting that God is a good god, who loves me enough to ruin my plans so he can implement a better one. THIS IS NOT EASY! When I want something badly, it is not easy for me to give that dream or desire to God and let him handle it, in his timing, on his terms. No way! I'm an independent woman. I'm smart and resourceful. I can make things happen for myself...right? All I have to do is tell God my plans...and he makes it happen...orrrrrr not.

God sees the result of each of our plans. In one of his writings, Max Lucado talks about how if God gave us everything we want it would be like a Father letting his child eat at every ice cream shop on the street. Yeah sure, it would be great.....until we were paralyzed in a Rocky Road coma.

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Gods plans are good. He will let us fight until we are exhausted. He will hold us steady until we are still and allow God to be God.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

Back to the skinny dork fighting the hot shot brother. If I would have taken one step back, and let go of my fight, I would have not felt the presure on my forehead, I would not have become exhausted. So if you are fighting and wrestling, and building your own path, I challenge you to let go. When you stop running in circles of the plans you are making, you can rest and wait for God to show you the one plan he has for you. Trust God that he is a good God, and a god with good plans for your life.

Proverbs 19:21- "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail."

A couple quotes I would like to share with you in closing:

"No I cannot count the ways You have made my life so blessed. All I know is that You came and made beauty of my mess" Aiyesha Woods, "Happy". When God messes up our plans, he is protecting us from making our own mess.

"But You say let it go, You say let it go. You say life is waiting for the one to lose control. You say you will be, everything I need. You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul. You say let it go." -Tenth Avenue North, "Let it Go" Jesus said those who lose their life will gain it. Luke 17:33

"He had your days planned before there was time. You are thoughtfully considered, delightfully created, and loved beyond belief.
'Trust me.' God is a risky god! To bring us closer to Him, He is willing to let your foundations be shaken, your walls rattled, your pieces scattered. He was willing to flood the earth for re-growth, send a baby to be King of all, and sacrifice that very Son. He let Jesus take on our ugliest puzzle pieces so we wouldn’t be slaves to them. Ours is a god of surprises, and He asks us to trust in His master plan, crazy and painful as it may be.
Today, may all your expectations be frustrated, may all your plans be thwarted, may all your desires be withered into nothingness, that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God who is Father, Son, and Spirit. Amen." -my best friend, http://girlwithblog.blogspot.com You are loved by a God who will not rip you off.

blog-cation!!!

Sorry girls, I know I have been M.I.A. for a little while. I am cooking up a good new post so bear with me!

"Life Won't Kill You" -Jennifer Weiner

Ok, this is totally blog-cheating, especially since I haven't post squat in awhile (I have an idea in my head..I'm just waiting for it to bloom a little more!)

Anyways, check out this site. The article is written by the author of In Her Shoes, which is a favorite movie of mine--based on a book I haven't read. Anyways, it's a good read about girl*friends..which we all need, and we know how crucial they are to survival! (I should know, I just got back from a trip to see a few of my favorites!!!)

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/simple-moments-of-joy/articleglamour.aspx?cp-documentid=18764660&gt1=32028