Getting Even

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. -Romans 12:19

Two yelling, whining, laughing, and splashing boys were ruining my relaxing afternoon by the pool. I am working on getting the perfect tan, and becuase of their canon balls, I keep having to change position; not cool.

I finally give in, set aside my book (so preserve its pages so I can read it later) and sit calmly watching these two boys. As I put my book down, I turn to see the younger one crying and the older one pleading, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Here, you punch me. A free shot. As hard as you can." The flow of tears comes to a halt and is replaced by the huge smile as he winds up and takes his best shot....

Ah ha! Right there. The perfect picture of how we get this messed up idea that revenge will make us feel better. That getting even makes out hurting stop. Forgive me if I've overused the following quote, but it's one of my favorites so bear with me:

"Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled… old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget.In life, only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes. No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You’re going to hurt people. You’re going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover... there’s really only one thing you can say. "-Meredith Grey, ABC's Grey's Anatomy

I passed a church sign a few weeks back that stated, "The Best Way to get Even is to Forget." I agree, but I had to scoff a little at that. I mean c'mon, who really forgets what made the deepest scars in their life? And if we could choose to forget these pains, wouldn't we all choose that? With all do respect to that church, I would like to make a slight edit to their sign. I think the best way to get even is to forgive.

If we hit back, our bruise doesn't magically clear up. If we just plain enjoy bringing pain upon someone who absolutely deserves it, it may make us human, but I also think it hardens our hearts a little bit. Getting revenge doesn't erase the past, in fact it keeps us on the same path that brought us face to face with whatever offended us.

These aren't profound words, but just as soon as I forgave those boys for showering me with their Shamoo-sized splashes, I've had this analogy in my head and had to spill it out somewhere.

Give up your grudges. Give them to God, let him even the scores. Give up trying to fix and protect yourself, let him heal your heart. Let him help you grow and learn and guide you through your pain. Let him set you free.

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken,Announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners.God sent me to announce the year of his grace— a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies— and to comfort all who mourn,To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,Messages of joy instead of news of doom, a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness" planted by God to display his glory.They'll rebuild the old ruins, raise a new city out of the wreckage.They'll start over on the ruined cities, take the rubble left behind and make it new.You'll hire outsiders to herd your flocks and foreigners to work your fields,But you'll have the title "Priests of God," honored as ministers of our God.You'll feast on the bounty of nations, you'll bask in their glory.Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt,Your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever. -Isaiah 61:1-7 (The Message).